This Or Prozac: Recent Comments2008-07-24T17:52:57Zhttp://thisorprozac.com/comments/atom.aspxQuick BlogComment on I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I WANT (DON'T I?)tag:thisorprozac.com,2007-11-29:685103Matt2007-11-29T12:50:21Z2007-11-29T12:50:21Z In general - and I can't speak in your case here - there are two steps to take in zeroing a relationship. First, there's separating your issues from her behavior. Forget about her for a moment; do YOU have issues in general with people ignoring you? With feeling invisible? Not heard? Etc. Given where your feelings are at this point and your difficulty letting this go, it may be that this relationship with your sister is a focal point for long-buried issues related to, say, parental detachment when you were growing up. Identifying your place in your feelings is the first step. The second is forgiveness - forgiving her for being who she is and doing what she does and forgiving yourself for the same. If you find that your feelings generalize beyond your sister, meaning similar behavior from other people sets you off in similar ways, then view your sister as an opportunity because, when you can finally approach her and feel at peace, you'll know something larger within you has been healed.]]>Comment on I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I WANT (DON'T I?)tag:thisorprozac.com,2007-11-29:685097Anonymous2007-11-29T12:48:34Z2007-11-29T12:48:34ZHow do people have healthy relationships with those who detach? Is it even possible? Detachers are letting go so...maybe I let go too?? Are detached people narcissistic? She does not seem to have a lot of empathy for anyone really. It would feel bad on my end to stop talking to my sister, but I just don't like her (did I ever like her?? or did I tell myself I did just to have a big sister). oh help! please advise!!!]]>Comment on I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I WANT (DON'T I?)tag:thisorprozac.com,2007-11-29:685086Matt2007-11-29T12:44:14Z2007-11-29T12:44:14ZComment on I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I WANT (DON'T I?)tag:thisorprozac.com,2007-11-29:685070Anonymous2007-11-29T12:39:39Z2007-11-29T12:39:39ZComment on I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I WANT (DON'T I?)tag:thisorprozac.com,2007-11-29:685054Matt2007-11-29T12:36:09Z2007-11-29T12:36:09Z Another way to look at it is that she's connecting with you in the only way she knows how. The way she's treating you is literally the best she's capable of right now in her life. I hear that it's not enough for you, but I'm guessing it's all she has.
For your end, you need to do the math for yourself of how much you can give without resenting her for not giving back. For example, maybe you drop the kids off or bring her kids over and limit your contact with her so you don't get hurt.
Release your expectations, acknowledge the reality of what she, forgive her for not being the sister you want her to be, and move on. The only outcome you can control is one that involves solely you.]]>Comment on I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I WANT (DON'T I?)tag:thisorprozac.com,2007-11-29:685047Anonymous2007-11-29T12:33:08Z2007-11-29T12:33:08ZComment on I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I WANT (DON'T I?)tag:thisorprozac.com,2007-11-29:685040Anonymous2007-11-29T12:30:52Z2007-11-29T12:30:52ZComment on I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I WANT (DON'T I?)tag:thisorprozac.com,2007-11-16:662043Matt2007-11-16T07:54:28Z2007-11-16T07:54:28Z And then let it go. Express yourself, express what you want, then cut yourself some slack if you don't get the outcome you want. Communicate the best you know how and be proud of yourself for trying.]]>Comment on I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I WANT (DON'T I?)tag:thisorprozac.com,2007-11-16:662038Anonymous2007-11-16T07:52:20Z2007-11-16T07:52:20ZComment on GET REAL!tag:thisorprozac.com,2007-11-13:655908David Marko2007-11-13T10:35:08Z2007-11-13T10:35:08Z Love your site. It's a bit over my emotionless-robotocon head, but you've got some interesting insights.]]>